ALL OVER THE PLACE archive

(foto is one of the many media structures put up over night to cover the primaries) I am all over the place. its 10days or so after the New Year 2008 (the infinite year ∞) and I am coming to grips 9or trying to) with all of the elements with which to reign in. The BF, the work, day to day and my life's foot-print. It's all so hard being an adult-oh the bliss of being a kid when someone else makes all the calls (But what one discovers in later life is that sometimes the choices made FOR you are not always the best).
I woke up rather early today (6am) with much on my mind- sometimes all the awful things of the world I cant affect iny way, my day to day relationships work etc. again and again.
I am wanting this year to accomplish some personal goals:
>make the mysteries of the tarot a more intergral part of my life
>Unveil the complexities of the german language and crowbar it into my head
>Understand my BF issues- what are mine and what are not and how to keep moving
>Keep cleaning while cooking on all fronts
>dispell all fears around the burocratic and the legaleeze
>understand and flow with the machine in which we are all small coggs
Already this short list is massive and perhaps this small diary can assist in clarifying how to move forward.
I was emotionally moved recently by looking at a website of some small houses (see "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbRvsWuWNUM%3E" The guy in the video is cute-but I cant help but think that he wasnt able to start his company with funds saved from selling lemonade alone.

I've always and remain interested in "off-the-grid" living and also LOVE design (see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOAPe0VoK3U%3E" ) and since my involment with the radical faeries I have also come to appreciate more and more the need to live in harmony with the earth. But I also know one has to also figure out how to live in relative harmony with the social sytems we are all part of. As we redefine (as Queers/faeries/gays yadda yadda) our normalcy and "construct" our lives and identities we forge new ground as well as take on those that have preceeded us. Like many I am also seduced by all the goodies and neat things we are offered as consumers_ but sadly I cant afford 90% of it (currently I am trying to refine my own Seitan making recipes to economize-without feeling it- and deflecting the prepackaged world we are all given- a tough task as a "single" guy with a BF)
Yes terday was BonnBonnHeidi's Bday- He turned 55 (!) and is already planning his old age years with living in a WG [=Wohngemeinschaft =home-community-living] in Köln[=Cologne]. I am impressed and take careful note of this practical planning he is engaged in. But without any sense of a cashflow income its quite a challenge to think in similar ways. All the "planning" notes and recommendations made are based on /for the "employed". I am learning more and more how to be Geizig(=frugal/cheap) not only because I natural poverty but also because it is perhaps "correct" to be this way and not buy into blind consumerism. Its a real challenge and of course i wish I had a a BF or 2 who would engage that dicovery and challenge together with me.
Berlin 11 Jan2008 , Cocopierre