BLURRR

The last couple of days have been a Blur. its the Christmas 2008 Holidays here in Berlin.
Teh following days are now a Blurr. Not from drinking but by the sheer variety and the nature of being "on" all the time- something I thought to avoid by not going to Oker/Goslar with the BF.

24 December- At Reini and Regina's place here on KottiDamm with Dinner by Regina's hunky African BF (Serviette Knodeln, WildSchwein, Rotkohl, rice)
25 December- At Deborah's with Pam in Xberg61 for a 100% vegitarian Mexican Dinner (Sleep-over)
26 December- At Dan and Wolfram's in Kreuzkoelln for a buffet brunch hang out- and later At Pam's in S'berg for her annual Boxing-day Suppe evening.
27 December = Ludi, an old friend from Freiburg's Schwarzwald(Black-forest) who I have known since the mid90s, passed by for a soup meal here in Xberg and offered to pay my way to Gayhane (the Gay Turkish party at SO36 going on 11years now).

I woke up with a hangover *but did not drink alcohol ! I "think" the mind remembers the combination of Music+smoke+club atmosphere +social flirting +late hours potentially triggers what feels like a hangover. I missed most of todays "sun"light and must saddly forge forward without any.
It was extremely pleasant to feel desired again yesterday while at the club. Two different couples seem to conciously hover around me with an interest that could have easily evolved into an energetic triad afterwards. One couple was a low key polo-shirt wearing bearded couple- Bears without the weight. The other couple had no such trappings and were more inspiring, if not more diligent, as they engaged in a certain amount of romantic exhibitionism on my account which I always acknowledged with a pleasant smile of approval. I had no serious intention to advance any of these ritual games since I am at them moment somewhat disinetrested in the ONS (one-night-stand) sex phenomena.

Earlier in the evening i was listening to some audio diaries from gaymen (living in SF) that reminds me of how absolutely neccessary it is for gaymen to share their thoughts, emotions with eachother- it is a rare pheneomena among all men.
For instance this man presents his personal dilema around two relationships he has pursued simultaneously and the explosive uncertainties that his recreational drug use has brought to his social and sexual realities. Listen to one example at: Two relationships, indecision and recreational drugs and another one that I found charming and illuminating Versatile SF Virgin discusses his monogamous relationship. he hits some notes I find wonderful to hear such as the power (and lazy) dynamics of being a top or a bottom as well as some issues about being in an interracial relationship.
The main website for "Eavesdrop:San Francisco Gay Men Talking About Their Sex Lives" can be found at http://isis-inc.org/podcast/