DRED THE TREAD

Todays post is merely, for me, to be able to return to a "feeling" experienced today after checking my critically low "balance".
I had expected the very low 3digits (maybe around 300) but to my shock and initial confusion i had a balance of 2K euros (it seems that the Paris La Villette people told me(by telephone) that they had made a payment in mid April- BUT they in fact had lied and had been sitting on funds owed to me since February 2009(as stipulated to be due upon the date they received the artworks in Paris). This group of organizers have been the most unpleasant, thus far, people i have had to deal with-
but that aside what is more important is the frame of MIND this has put me in with regards to my survival balances and mthe persistent sense of my poverty.
Having critically low/non-existent access to MONEY makes me depressed to a debilitating extent. I received a kick of enthusiasm when a semi reasonable balance was revealed.
What does this say about the power of the mind?
It is clear that in all pressing situations I need to be able to progress and move forward with strength and not be psychologically crushed by oppressive facts.

Its clear I need a part-time 'job" (what they call a "400€ Job" here with no benefits)
I need to either find something existing or as I had done when I was 19, INVENT something (Then it was fashion illustration and those decadent Fiorucci hand-painted cards & stationery at 'SweetB's)
I will "Putz" if I need to even scrape condoms from the floor of a darkroom (a Much better option than dangerous heavy-labor or humiliatingly opening hotel doors). But I need to do even more and remind myself of that fact all the time- do more- diversify and do more and save money. The divination work must also come into "being" at some point as well. for the sake of those who will be read and me who will read what the spirits want then to hear. This must all be done Auf Deutsch(!)

To be sure i need to be extremely pragmatic about my realities on THIS ground. That said, it is also worth the effort to keep a grasp of the current perspectives of what is tragically going on all around us beyond these borders. this series of images from an extended foto essay inevitably had these comments along with the image of water dispersion in Haiti (a luxury drought ridden countries are literally dieing to have)

"12. HAITI---Cut and dry: People in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, wait for clean water in the neighborhood known as L'Estere. Already facing chronic poverty and a dysfunctional political system, Haiti took a beating from four severe storms last hurricane season, exacerbating a humanitarian crisis. The country was hopeful that a donors conference in April 2009 would help restart the flow of international aid. Although $353 million was promised, little has reached the country yet. Former U.S. President Bill Clinton, the new U.N. envoy to Haiti, promises to help."

here is the full foto essay